Love Wins In Marriage Episode #47
How should I write about the width and depth of twenty-two years of marriage, life, kids, vacations, pain, joy, adventure, family, depression, death, new beginnings, addiction, career, sexual intimacy, and money? In this podcast, my wife Leith and I offer a gritty and raw re-telling of our story.
Instead of writing a post about what we share in this podcast, I will share something I wrote for our friend’s wedding, The Way of Love, adapted from 1 Corinthians 13:4. I am not a pastor. I am just a simple guy who learns best when I can relate by practical application. I hope The Way of Love encourages you as you throw yourself into the mysteries of choosing love.
We printed this and put it up on our refrigerator to remind of us how Love Wins.
The Way of Love
If I speak with you using fancy persuasive words or if I write you love songs that I sing to you under a star light night, or if I buy you a house with a white picket fence with a new Lexus in the garage, but if I don’t have love as my motive, love as my guide, love as the silver thread woven into the fibers of our marriage, then all of my words and actions will make you grow weary like the creaking sound of a rusty gate.
So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love. I want to learn to love you like this, Love never gives up. The Way of Love doesn’t use the word ‘divorce’ in our home. Love isn’t self-centered.
The Way of Love studies and learns the deep desires of your heart. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. The Way of Love develops daily rituals to remind me to be grateful.
Love doesn’t strut, Love doesn’t have a swelled head. The Way of Love humbly owns how I am unfinished as a person. The Way of Love is to admit that I am under construction and in need of constant renovation. The Way of Love is to never pretend that I’ve got this whole thing figured out.
Love doesn’t force itself on others, Love isn’t always talking about “me first”. The Way of Love is tender and patient waiting with an open hand, not a tight grip. Love doesn’t fly off the handle. The Way of Love punctuates every conversation with restraint.
Love doesn’t keep score of the sins of others. The Way of Love never participates in the battles of blame. The Way of Love grows forgetful together and remains loyal, no matter what the cost. Even when your spouse blows it, is terrible to be around, is sick, depressed, disappointed, angry, irritating, obnoxious, or temporarily impersonates someone you’ve never met.
The Way of Love forms an alliance with God about who He designed your spouse to be, despite how ugly that part of them is right now. The Way of Love never stops believing the best about each other and always expects the best from each other.
The Way of Love always stands your ground in defending your spouse even when it’s with your best friend, your family, or someone who intimidates you. The Way of Love also knows when its time to let them come to their own defense.
The Way of Love always trusts God’s good heart and intentions towards you even when life’s road is steep, rocky, and full of dead ends. The Way of Love never looks back, but finds a way to keep going to the end.
The Way of Love adapted from 1 Corinthians 13:4 by aaron mchugh | The Message | NIV | Amplified