Living On Purpose Archives - Page 2 of 15

The Books That I’m Ingesting This Year

This morning, feeling the crispness of autumn breeze through my window, I started to see a loose form, a blurry but distinct outline. My stack of books starts animating in pithy nuggets.

Parker Palmer’s Quaker voice surfaced, “Is the life I am living the same as the life that wants to live in me?” David Brooks’s soulful New York Times Op-Ed promise that the second mountain in life, after the valley, is where the real treasures are hidden “When I meet people leading lives of deep commitment, this fact hits me. Joy is real.”

The smell of Walt Herrington’s Acts of Creation distracted my attention. As scents of fresh pine and alder cut clean from razor edges affirmed my resonance with the spirit of excellence. “Fine craftsmen crave the exhilaration of touching excellence every day in their work.” Irresistible again, the voice of love, Jesus, “Get away with me and recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest.”

Lacing my running shoes, James Clear’s pragmatic promise of Atomic Habits “becoming 1% better by never missing twice”, my small experiment with low bar tiny actions fuels my 200-day 1-mile running streak. Tuckered, I retrieve my mental permission slip to power down from Steven King’s On Writing, “Afternoons are for naps and letters.” Resisting another refill of box wine Nir Eyal’s annoying Indistractable truth haunts many of my evenings, “the drive to relieve discomfort is the root cause of all our behavior.” What discomfort am I attempting to avoid?

My friends and mentors shape my life’s form and function, like water carving a riverbed, polishing, and disrupting Norman McClean’s “basement of time.” Their truth and questions collide with my homeostasis, elevate my hope, myth-bust my assumptions, to elongate my resolve.

The outline I see is me, the person I’m becoming. I ingest books. And my traveling companions, they are friends.

Here’s my ingestion book list for 2020

Let Your Life Speak, Parker Palmer

The Second Mountain: How People Move From the Prison of Self to the Joy of Commitment, David Brooks

Acts of Creation: America’s Finest Hand Craftsmen at Work, Walt Herrington

The Message: The New Testament in Contemporary Language

Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones, James Clear

On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, Stephen King

Indistractable: How to Control Your Attention and Choose Your Life, Nir Eyal

Becoming A King: The Path to Restoring a Heart of a Man, Morgan Snyder

Get Your Life Back, Everyday Practices For a World Gone Mad, John Eldredge

A River Runs Through It, Norman Maclean

The Future Is Faster Than You Think How Converging Technologies Are Disrupting Business, Industries, and Our Lives, Peter Diamandis, Steven Kotler

What Seeds Are You Planting?

Friend,

We’re here together, in the middle of the beginning of a pandemic story, with the future uncertain and, what if?

What if we…
invite simplicity back
find flow in life-giving rhythms and quiet moments,
remind our soul of connection’s promise and call an old friend
ask God for “help” now that our self-sufficiency isn’t enough
reclaim promises we’d intended to keep
listen longer
oil our rusty joints with movement
declutter our mind and garage
reclaim our attention
linger over meals
ask for forgiveness
leave love notes on pillows
wonder at the gift of our beating heart.
-Aaron McHugh

Here’s what I’m noticing, right now, our 1950’s-like analog life is illuminating realities about who we are, how we choose to live, what we value, our need for one another, and the stories we tell ourselves rudder our experience of this story. What we believe is easier to find again.

My brother witnessed what I imagine was panicked suburbanites at Bass Pro stockpiling guns and munitions for their stay-at-home last siege? Every kid ferried armfuls of rounds to the register as Dad locked and loaded. I’d be curious to hear their dinner table conversation their fearful narrative that’s driving their actions. There are also real stories of death of loved ones, job loss, and isolation. Here we are together.

A bright spot beyond the television and zoom calls is that our natural world is safe. If your city permits you to wander, leave your phone and venture out -heck yeah- even grab the dog and see, sense, smell what’s always awaited you out your front door. The treasures we might rediscover about our world, ourselves, and each other.

I’m a streaker. Not like Will Ferrell in Old School running through the campus quad-I’m running, yes, but with my clothes on and a mask. My app reads “108-day streak” of running 1 mile. Some days I run more, but at a minimum-snow or sunshine, I’m checking the green done box. I’m discovering the value of ritual, routine, and dailiness.

Our son Holden is streaking, 1825 days (and counting) of not drugging and drinking. His life-saving streak of “just for today” began with this seed of everydayness.

I called one of my mentors this week to check on him and his family “Staying safe and healthy?” As I expected, they schedule “Puzzle time, dog walks, and meals. When I was in prison, routines, and habits saved me. It gave me some sense of purpose and predictability.” Hope is easier to find when our routines and habits serve the story we want to be living into. Pick up meditation, go for a walk, ride your bike, pray, write, practice your piano scales or yoga, and do it every day. Start with a seed of today.

“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Seeds are stories brimming to unfold made possible by the first step- planting. Life is happening, friends, and we either believe Life happens to us, or we are consciously and intentionally co-creating our Life today by planting seeds. For a quick read on the magnification allegory of seed planting, pick up The Man Who Planted Trees.

Since January, here’s my daily meditation about fruit in an orchard, which starts with a seed.

“But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard-things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.” -Paul in his letter to the Galatians community

I want to become the ranch manager of an orchard of affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity able to marshal and direct my energies wisely. Somedays that story feels closer and more accessible than others. For today, I’m lacing up my New Balance and later will plant some new lettuce seeds in our outdoor garden for the summer BBQ season.

What seeds are already in you?

What’s true enough today-that you can believe-even if just for today?

Seed of gratitude: Write a hand written note to someone you are grateful for.

Seed of forgiveness: Say even if only to yourself, “I want to forgive (their name) for (……….)”

Seed of action: Find a post it note, small 3”x 3” size, write down one action step, to do, experiment that you will do, start today. (Has to fit on one side of the post it note).

I planted a seed ten years ago, it became my first published book. Don’t let the title throw you off, yes, it’s about work, and it’s about becoming wholehearted and how work-life balance is a myth. Discover sustainable rhythms instead. Fire Your Boss: Discover Work You Love Without Quitting Your Job. Pick up your copy wherever you buy books. My Work Life Play podcasts are released weekly.

Keep going,

Aaron

Walk to a Friend’s House For Dinner

Our experience of life can become humdrum if we allow it. To interrupt the monotony of life, I propose you call a friend, invite yourself to dinner and then, wait for it, walk to their house.

How our dinner party became a reality

“Hey Jon, can we come for dinner at your house on Saturday night? We want to walk to your house over the river and through the woods.”
“Sure-are you serious?”
-Undaunted Courage dinner party

Our route became a combination of US Forest Service roads and off-trail bushwacking.

As the crow flies, Jon lives twenty-miles away, which made for the perfect adventure. We dubbed our party Undaunted Courage in honor of Stephen Ambrose’s book about the explorers Lewis and Clark. No doubt, our cross country trek of a few hours wasn’t comparable, but our explorer’s spirit lacked none of the potency of uncertainty.

Map, compass, trekking poles, and willing hearts were our equipment to help us create a permanent narrative of exploration, adventure, and intimacy. Even something as simple as dinner can become an adventure.

Reject the humdrum. Go big. Live on purpose.

Keep going,

Aaron

Our Undaunted Courage dinner party. We were few, but mighty.

An explorer’s spirit starts with curiosity about what’s out around the next corner.

Seeking Advice From Our Younger Guide

On my office wall, I have a four- by five-inch photo of myself taken in 1994 standing in the doorframe of a burnt orange and primer gray Ford cattle truck named John Wayne’s Horse. I drove it that summer to drop off high school kids at remote backcountry trailheads in the Weminuche Wilderness of Colorado. My wife and I were newlyweds, living at 9,000 feet in a twelve- by fifteen-foot log cabin built in the 1930s. Our adult life was infinite with possibility. My face in this photo is bright, and my smile is full of mischief, and in the depths of my eyes, I see a deep satisfaction.

That guy-he is my younger guide. I have invited him back into my life as a counselor to my career’s biggest questions. He stares at me while I work and mythically dialogues with me. Last year when I needed a career advisor, I imagined telling him-the bright-faced happy kid-that I’m considering playing it safe. “I’m going to accept their offer and sign up for the private equity conquest. No, I don’t love it. In fact, I’m bored and have difficulty making it through a week. I’d rather leave behind this software technology career I’ve spent nearly fifteen years creating—but I get paid a lot, and I’m not sure I can replace my income starting a new career.”

I can picture his jaw-dropping, disbelief in his eyes and ready to shake me. I hear him saying, “Aaron. Bro. We can’t allow this. This was not the dream. You cannot resign yourself because you’re scared and uncomfortable with uncertainty. Don’t you remember how we were going to go into the business world, but people—not money—were always going to be the mission? What happened to you?”

We can lose sight and connection with our original dreams when real life happens, the road gets rocky, and our obligations shroud our visibility into those distant origins. Our younger guide isn’t divided. Maybe it’s time to seek some advice from your innocent advisor that knows you best?

Keep going-

Aaron

Listening With Your Life

Everyone has a story to tell if you listen long enough. I wonder how much different our experiences of our lives would be if we put down our phones and engaged with the humans we encounter at the grocery store, in an Uber, buying gas, and walking down the street. I watch people around me stay connected to their phones while they order fast food, pay at the grocery store and watch soccer practice.

Our actions are saying, You there behind the counter, could you hurry up and get me my food because I’m important and I’ve got somewhere to be. You are an object, not someone of interest to me. Are you done yet?

Or maybe, we’ve got it all jumbled up, and we’re all connected, in need of each other, and the Divine is waiting for us to show up to our lives to feel and connect with everyone. Let’s extend dignity to those we encounter and remind ourselves of our divine nature and theirs. Take the time to listen with your life.

The Value of Having a Dream

Two drivers and a janitor taught me about the value of having a dream. When I jump into an Uber around the world, I always ask “How long have you been driving? Do you like it?” Brian said, “I’m an accountant by day, Uber driver by night.” Unlike his friends, he doesn’t want a $100K loan to pay back after graduation. After three years, he’s three months away from his debt-free graduation with an MBA in Finance. He exuded happiness.

Domnic’s driving Lyft to pay tuition for his two college kids. He believes his first-generation college students shouldn’t carry the burden of debt. He wants to “lighten their life’s burden” by working his day job 9 am to 2 pm then like Clark Kent, finds a phone booth to pivot into a Lyft driver until midnight.

Keneil was stacking chairs and running the vacuum cleaner when he told me about his evil plan using his janitor job to fund his reggae music career.

These fellow humans were incredibly clear on why they go to work every day and the dream their work is funding. Dreams give fuel and power to our resolve, our actions, and even numb our pain receptors. When the going get’s tough-our dreams kick in to remind us why it’s worth the temporary setback. Work can become a grind when you don’t have a vision. No matter how small or how big, dream a dream to bring you clarity and purpose to your work.

Betting My Life on What I Believe

My savings account just hit zero. We’ve bet our life on what we believe, and I’d like to shoot straight with you about what its been like the last seven months.

In October, I left my cushy $six figure career. It was intellectually challenging, but it wasn’t soulfully and purposefully satisfying. With the support of my wife, family and close friends, it was time to leap.

My big life experiment- the big bet, was to align the work I do every day with the person that I’ve become. If it sounds super vague and lacking textbook, strategy-you’re right. With no more specificity than this prayerful mantra, we stepped out into the unknown. For our family, it was time to push all of our chips into the middle of the table and spin the wheel placing bets on “cause good every day.”

Writing this, I realize how ridiculous this might sound. “Guy has a great career, so what if it doesn’t turn his crank every day, and then he leaps without having another job, to live on their savings while he looks for his dream career to “cause good in the world”?

I’m laughing too, LOL but it’s true. What’s also true is that I’ve transformed as a person. I used to be afraid that if I took a significant career risk, I would go broke and I’d have to go back to selling radio ads and living with my mom.

What I fear most

At age forty-six, now my greatest fears are never fully living my life, playing life so safe that I earn a lot of money, but never experience the wealth of living true to myself. (Read palliative care nurse Bonnie Ware’s regret of the dying).

My wife is a saint. “I hope they fire you so you can get on with your life.” were her bold words last summer after new owners purchased my day job company. My friends came over that night that I opted out of the private equity quest, “You just received a Kingdom promotion.” On my 3,000 mile trip in VW bus to clear my head, my brother reminded me, “You’re the genuine article.”

They were waiting for me to roll the dice and bet on myself.

Fast forward seven months

Our check register and our calendar tell a more life-filled story. When I look in the mirror, I see my smile restored in my eyes. After months of interviews, two trips to Europe for training, unexpected bills and car repairs, tons on uncertainty, and countless invigorating moments, I can appreciate how simple, yet inspired my soulful drumbeat was for creating good.

Today I’m working with two consulting firms and yesterday I collaborated with five classical musicians facilitating a workshop for business consultants to help raise their EQ. Monday, I head to Chicago to finalize my facilitation training to deliver leadership transformation workshops to business leaders.

The story is far from over, but here are my soundbites and learnings.

1) Who you choose to become is most important

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” Teddy Roosevelt

2) Nothing is wasted

Every experience in your life, every success, every story, every mishap and misfortune, every crummy job and tyrant boss, your ex-husband, your second grade teacher, your volunteer project, your hobby, your favorite books, your stories, your love of photography, your longing to teach-all of it is useful raw material for your next gig, your next season, your future relationship, your next project, your next….

When you approach your life with the mindset that everything is useful and nothing is wasted, even the refuse, then you can begin to more readily connect dots and threads of your life and work together. I can tell you twenty stories from the past six months. Loosely fragmented elements of my experiences coming to the surface today as ingredients that are highly valuable for my work today.

3) God is with us

I know I’m not doing this alone. I’m in partnership actively co-creating my life.

4) Timing matters

No timing will ever feel perfect, but I believe you’ll know when it’s become impossible for you to keep waiting to make your move. Pay attention to the difference in sudden emotional impulses versus deep soulful unrest calling you forward.

5) Expect most people not to understand

Some people won’t get why you’re taking such a significant risk. Other’s will envy you. What’s most important is that you have one or two (or more) people that you can call during your low moments to talk you out of the pit of despair.

6) It will take longer than you think

For reasons I don’t fully understand, starting something new always takes more time and more money than you initially think. I’ve seen this is with startup companies, culture changes, launching products, repairing relationships, and big life changes.

7) You’re more powerful than you know

The people who inspire me most are the people who live true to themselves. Mike Field, Rob Bell, Ryan Miller, Steve Fortunado, Onsite Team Two degrees, Miles Adcox, Jim Tracy, Holden McHugh, Averi McHugh, Leith McHugh, Tess Vigeland, Vince Renando, John Eldredge, Morgan Snyder, Jon Dale, Alex Burton, Jim Bear, Sam Ainslie, Carl Richards, Seth Godin, Pam Slim, Ben Moon, and Bart Hanson (and tons and tons of others).

In the great words of singer-songwriter Glen Hansard, “May your winning streak never end. Roll the dice boy, cause my money’s on you. Take my advice now put your money down too.”

Keep going-
Aaron

You Can Experience Soul Gratifying Purpose and Meaning

A few months ago, I sent this email and it struck a deep nerve with so many. Resulting in me working with people one-on-one, in big group webinars, a live event, and Slack channel communications.

“I’m looking for six curious people interested in participating in a small
life experiment with me.

Wanted Real People who:
1) You KNOW there is something deep and meaningful that you WANT to do with your life.
2) You may not know what that deep and meaningful thing is.
3) You get stuck, derailed, slowed down and aren’t sure what to do
differently.
4) You want help.

I want to help you explore your frontier: find your path, rediscover what
fires you up, identify where you drifted off course, what stands in your
way limiting your experience of joy, meaning, and connection.

-Aaron

Here’s what I’ve discovered about living on purpose

I’ve witnessed a few themes that I believe will help you find your path to experiencing more purpose and meaning in your life.

1) You have to have a connection with a deep belief that transcends circumstances.
You have a spiritual, more profound wisdom, a transcendent truth that undergirds life that convinces and reminds you that your life matters even when it sucks. And there is something here that you are to do no matter how big or small. You are here to cause good in the world. I call this connection and partnership God.

When all hope is lost, when people cannot locate or identify with a higher purpose, calling and spiritual connection or belief, I’ve watched them lose hope and give up. If the story is “ashes to ashes and dust to dust” then why try so hard, why keep going. But when you believe there is something deep and substantive to your existence then you can press through the muck of life.

2) You courageously explore your frontier.
You run experiments, try new things, and get to know yourself. You let go of outcomes and stop focusing on the destination and embrace the mystery and uncertainty of the journey.

3) You take action.
No matter how small, you take action. Maybe you point your toes in a new direction and that is the sum of the courage you can muster. Action = possibility.

4) You avoid the pitfalls.
The pitfalls of indecision, analysis paralysis (over analyzing everything and doing nothing). You’ve expanded your view of success to include joy and vitality, not just financial wealth and status. You’ve redefined failure as impossible when you’re learning lessons from every experience. You’ve cast off the opinions and voices of the world and choose to listen to yourself and the voice inside calling you forward.

There isn’t a pill. There is not a bunch of shortcuts or VIP line to the front. Instead, there is a choice to embrace the reality that this is a treasure hunt and the prize is you discovering what will get you jumping out of bed. With the above, over time, inch by inch, you can experience more soul gratifying purpose and meaning.

Knowing When To Exhale

I used to hold my breath a lot. I remember regularly noticing myself not breathing throughout the day, but instead holding-waiting. It took me years to develop this skill. When something challenging in life occurred, I’d take a gulp and hold while the next wave would crash over me. I told myself I was like a Navy Seal who needed to endure continual sets of crashing waves. Between wave sets, I recouped for the next round.

My BUDS training technique for weathering hardship became a way of living, not just a survival tactic. For me, every new sunrise camouflaged a brewing tropical storm. I found myself unable to enjoy the tranquil calm water. I see now how many of the waves were much more significant than I knew. I’m more courageous than I remembered. Some of the waves were imagined. Navigating large sets of waves became apart of my identity, and so I sought out every ripple.

The more valuable skill is knowing when to exhale and take in a fresh breath. It’s required as much practice to become the kind of person who can be content sipping a cold beer on the shore enjoying the sun.

Learn how to take the wave.
Celebrate calm water.
Live free.

The Pikes Peak EPIC Adventure Life Project

I breathe in and count to five. I exhale slowly on the same rhythm, repeating until I feel my heart rate lower. I visualize myself on the windblown summit of Pikes Peak at 14,115 feet—52 miles from where I began 14 hours earlier. After four previous failed , I’m leaving nothing to chance. I’m borrowing every flow-hacking method I can conjure.

image-bleed — The Pikes Peak Epic T-shirt graphic from 2005

The EPIC for short

Sixteen years ago while running in Palmer Lake, I came up with this big idea to celebrate my 30th birthday. “What if we started here in Palmer Lake like a triathlon, and we biked, ran and climbed our way to the summit of Pikes Peak on my birthday, April Fools Day?” I blurted out to my running partner. And the Palmer Lake to Pikes Epic—The Epic for short—was born. I recruited a rag-tag crew that year, and we plodded through a spring blizzard from beginning to end, finally declaring our valiant effort frozen and tuckered by Barr Camp.

My “sufferfest,” as one friend calls it, combines the three-pronged spirit of triathlon—bike, run, hike—with the quad-busting Incline and the Pikes Peak Marathon. The real bragging rights come from its timing around April Fools Day, regardless of weather. With every attempt, there’s been rain, sleet, and snow.

I intend to tell my grandchildren about this gnarly amalgamation of weather, endurance, friendship and adventure. “When Pikes Peak was brimming with spring snow, a few mates and I would fire up our headlamps just after midnight, say a quick prayer and start peddling our mountain bikes two towns away, aiming toward the towering summit of Pikes Peak,” I’ll tell them. “A few gritty hours later, we’d reach Red Rock Canyon just before dawn, swap our two-wheeled steeds for running shoes and trail-run our to the base of Pikes Peak. That’s where the real work began, as we caught the Pikes Peak Marathon course—but we’d throw in the Incline just for fun.”

Why did this sound like a good idea?

It’s difficult to articulate why I initially thought this would be a good idea. But big goals, the kind that force me to dig deeper, are more seductive for me than a bachelor party in Las Vegas.

“Why don’t you make it easier?” friend have asked over the years. “Why don’t you attempt it in July when the weather is stable? Why not drop the Incline from the route?” My answers are always the same. I could easily scale back my vision to a more attainable scale, but that wouldn’t satisfy my journey.

With repeated attempts, I’ve come to realize that The Epic isn’t a race—it’s a quest, a life project, the kind you have no idea how it will shape you when you blurt out a crazy idea in a younger moment of endorphin-fueled inspiration.

I’ve yet to accomplish my original goal. Last year, four friends and I pushed to within a mile of Pikes’ summit before the setting sun turned us around. In previous years, I’ve reached Barr Camp and the A-Frame twice. In the early years, I had as many as 60 other people join me throughout the day to offer birthday wishes.

Most came for the pre-dawn bike ride or Incline ascent, and then returned home for a hot shower and nap. We printed T-shirts with the family mantra of the famous Antarctic explorer Ernest Shackleton: “By endurance we conquer.” I required mock last-will-and-testament signatures and even had web registration.

To call it failure is to suggest that this project is a bust or a waste. To do so would only be a failure to recognize how much I love the camaraderie I’ve been able to foster, and the joy I’ve experienced from witnessing friends and strangers do things they’d never done before. The Epic has created a zany excuse to ride our bikes in nocturnal snowstorms, rolling toward a snowy iconic summit—always pressing toward a distant dream.

I’ll be back out there on the journey again early this April. If you see us in the pre-dawn darkness, shake a cowbell as we pass or cache a thermos of hot broth along Barr Trail. It’s been a dry winter; this could be the year. Maybe we’ll pack a few small fireworks to shoot from the summit.

The EPIC Route

2 a.m.: Mountain bike the Santa Fe Trail from Palmer Lake to the Bear Creek Dog Park.

28 miles, 3 hours

5 a.m.: Run Bear Creek Park to the Manitou Incline via Section 16 and Intemann Trail

11 miles, 2.5 hours

8 a.m.: Hike the Incline and Barr Trail to Pikes Peak summit

12 miles, 6 hours

2:30 p.m.: Descend Barr Trail to its trailhead finish line

12 miles, 4 hours

6-10 p.m.: Finish