In his book, Simple Ways to Stop Doing Dumb Things with Money, my friend Carl Richards said, “You can’t say that you value time with your kids when you just bought a new Lexus.” He continues on his riff with how the Lexus requires you to earn that bonus and to win the bonus you must work additional five-eight hours a week which results in missing your son’s soccer practices. In the end, Carl concludes, that your actions tell the story of what you believe.
Carl helped me put words to aligning my values with my beliefs. Another friend of mine says, “Actions reveal our beliefs 100% of the time”. I find this incredibly helpful to take a look at my actions, my decisions, my behaviors and appreciate that my deeply held core beliefs reveal through what I do, not what I say.
I just returned from a business trip to Europe. I love the exploration of new places. I love the professional challenge of conducting business in foreign countries. I love being with my family. I love being a part of everyday living with my wife and daughter and friends. When I travel, I’m not involved in the daily happenings of their lives.
What do I value most? My highest value is my family. My second highest value is adventure and exploration. I used to travel 50–70% of the time which resulted in dissonance within my soul. Now the choices I make are overlaid with this value meter. Aligning what you value most with your daily life isn’t about perfection. It is about having intentional awareness and personal responsibility in the decisions we make.
Nobody made us buy that Lexus or accept a job that requires international travel; we made that choice. If we don’t like the results or requirements of our decisions, or the behavior gap caused by our actions and beliefs, we should remedy the situation with different choices.
Check out our Reboot Your Life Experiential Workshop October 13-15, Colorado Springs. Sign up details available here.