An alternative to boredom

While some argue that boredom stems from a lack of imagination, its true essence extends far deeper. Beyond its superficial appearance lies the conviction that there is nothing new left to discover, nothing waiting to be explored or created. In essence, boredom embodies the very definition of futility: a sense of purposelessness and pointlessness.

I hear boredom talked about in careers, relationships with life partners, and cities we call home. “There is nothing new here.”

Boredom is a spiritual state of being. By embracing futility and pointlessness, one may believe, “Why should I bother? Why should I even try?” This soul state confines and restricts our experience of our life, keeping it small and insulated from potential hurt or disappointment.

“You say you see no hope
You say you see no reason we should dream
That the world would ever change
You say the love is foolish to believe”

-David Wilcox, Show the way

A different take on today, we can approach each day with the conviction that it holds significance. Yes, even this very day matters. Without fully comprehending how each piece fits together, we trust that today is a building block, interconnecting with others over time. Together, we co-create something meaningful in this existence and play an essential role as co-creators.

Now the stage is set
You can feel your own heart beating in your chest
This life’s not over yet
So we get up on our feet and do our best
We play against the fear
We play against the reasons not to try
We’re playing for the tears
Burning in the happy angel’s eyes

-David Wilcox, Show the way

Approaching today with a posture of “what’s next?” propels us into a realm of possibility and anticipation. We acknowledge that this day matters, and we show up fully. We strive to create something meaningful—a conversation, a connection—that reminds our soul of its purpose and reason for being.

For it’s love who mixed the mortar
And it’s love who stacked these stones
And it’s love who made the stage here
Though it looks like we’re alone
In this scene, set in shadows,
Like the night is here to stay
There is evil cast around us
But it’s love that wrote the play
For in this darkness love will show the way

David Wilcox, Show the way

So, I encourage you to show up in your own life. Seize this day and create something with it. Remind your soul of the “why” that drives you.

Ancient wisdom reminds us that tomorrow has enough worries of its own. But today needs you fully awake, alive, and engaged.

So it’s either today is pointless or this day, your life, and this moment matters?

Which will it be?

Keep going-
Aaron

Paying Attention to Being On Purpose vs. Off Purpose

So you don’t yet know what your life purpose is, why you are here and what you are here to do. Try paying attention to the moments, the conversations, the ways you feel On Purpose. Here are a few small On Purpose practices that help me experience purposeful living and leading.

I’m like WALL-E the Pixar Robot. My family giggles, but I pick up trash everywhere I go. I value caring for the planet and our home instead of stepping over debris in parking lots and trails. I kneel and clean as I go about life wherever I am. I’m On Purpose when I’m participating in restoring the planet’s beauty.

Imagine how beautiful our world will be when 7.9 billion people care for our home.

Here’s another. I put down my phone when going through a check-out lane at a store or in a drive-through. I choose to honor and engage the human being before me. I believe Saint Paul “we are God’s workmanship” we human beings are valuable, and I dignify the Divine in them by giving one another our full attention. This way of operating in the world applies with senior executives or a customer service rep; I’m On Purpose when I’m dignifying every human.

Imagine how we will treat one another when we believe all human beings are valuable.

We will find ourselves Off Purpose, for moments, maybe for weeks and years, ignoring and running the risk of eventually forgetting what we value and believe.

The poet David Whyte worked with a group of particularly thoughtful managers, looking at how we sacrifice our personal desires (Off Purpose) on the altar of work and success. One of the women in the group shared a handful of haunting lines:
“Ten years ago…
I turned my face for a moment
and it became my life.”

With grace and curiosity, pay attention to your compass needle. Notice when you’ve traveled many miles without checking your instrumentation. Regularly ask yourself, “where am I? how am I? where am I heading?” It’s much easier to make regular minor adjustments than waiting too long.

You’ll be surprised to discover that after paying attention, strengthening your awareness muscle, making two-degree shifts, “what’s my purpose, what am I here to do?” becomes easier to dance with. It won’t be about having the correct answer anymore. You’ll speak about the way you live, work, play, and love.

Stay alert. Choose being On Purpose.

Keep going-
Aaron

Trip Report: Stranger Things From Our Eyes in Hawkins, Indiana

Description: In search of Stranger Things, we visited dozens of Stranger Things filming locations in fictional Hawkins, Indiana (actually filmed in the greater Atlanta, GA metro). But first, some backdrop to our adventure-seeking. We both love stories told through cinema. For me, it started in 1979 with Star Wars, A New Hope in a mountain town theater known for Mule Days. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the lost ark were a late-night showing for poor grad students on Mizzou’s college campus in middle school. After paying for an age-appropriate PG film for Stephen King’s Rated R Stand By Me in high school, I snuck in. 

For our cinematography college student daughter, a Middle-school obsession with the vanishing of Will Byers sparked the quest for us to explore Hawkins, IN. For the release of Stranger Things season 2, she hosted a binge-watching all-nighter fit with our transmission-ready Upside Down Christmas light alphabet keyboard.

Upside Down ready for transmission

Length: 3-4 days

Pro tip: We rented a Scamper Van in Atlanta and slept at RV Parks and one Walmart Parking lot. 

Scamper Van in the foreground of The Hawkins Laboratory. Photo credit @Averi McHugh

The rewards: After we finished walking the railroad tracks in Stone Mountain Park, where 11 throws off the boys’ compasses needles to prevent them from finding “the gate.” Averi connected to her film class over zoom from the Scamper Van mobile office. “Hey Averi, where are you?” What better learning for a film degree than to visit actual filming sites to appreciate the complexity, diversity, geographic expanse required to stitch together the fictional Hawkins, IN. 

We arrived at Hawkins Middle School to be greeted by a security guard. We bashfully mentioned why we were on campus in our not so cognito Scamper Van, “Have you ever heard of the show Stranger Things?” 

His response was, “well you guys need to leave.” 

“Oh, sorry, just wanted to look around.” 

“They are filming now (Season 4), and the cast is inside the school.” 

MINDBLOWN tears followed.

Onset of Stranger Things Season 4, Hawkins Middle School outside of Atlanta, GA

Locations we visited in Hawkins, IN: 

-Mike’s House (The Wheeler Family Home)

-Hawkins Lab

-The van flip location

-Railroad tracks

-Dustin’s House

-Luca’s House

-Downtown Hawkins

-Melvald’s General Store

-Hawk Theather

-Palace Arcade

-Hawkins Middle School 

-Benny’s Burgers

-Starcourt Mall

-Hawkins Community Pool

-Hawkins Town Hall

-Hawkins Woods

-Downtown Chicago

-Abandoned Mill

-Trick-or-Treating House

Season: Anytime

Resources:
Here’s the map that we used from Atlanta Magazine. Each location address is listed.

The Stranger Things Season 1, Episode 1 script

The railroad tracks where multiple scenes were shot from Stranger Things, emulating a classic scene from Stand By Me. Photo credit @Averi McHugh
The Hawkins Lab is as creepy in person as it is on screen, but with fewer satellite dishes on the roof. Photo credit @Averi McHugh
Mike Wheeler’s house the epicenter of the story developing of friendship and adolescent adventure.
Photo credit @Averi McHugh
The Palace Arcade appeared to still be an active set with games inside, neon lights and black trash bags covering the windows. Season Four? Photo credit @Averi McHugh
Season Three, The Mill Photo credit @Averi McHugh
Many of the context shots in Stranger Things are of simple landscapes to set tone, time and season. This field is adjacent to Mike’s house. Photo credit @Averi McHugh

A good story is not a straight line

Intellectually I know this, “a good story is not a straight line.” In the beginning, I wanted to be a mountain guide, exploring the rugged blank spots on the map. Immaturity convinced me to avoid the world of business for fear of losing my friendship with the heart of God.
I side-lined my guide aspirations and started selling radio advertising commercials and playing at the park—home by 5 pm for family dinner and bedtime stories for the kids. The younger places in me could not see the good story being forged. All I thought I saw were zig zags.

Maybe you’re like me, and you want a foolproof plan to the result, the destination.

A plus B equals C.

Results in linearity, sequential, predictable outcomes, and only straight lines. For some, their five-year plan appears flawlessly executed. “This same some (apparently) forge through life with a plan, a map they chart by bolder stars. I, on the other hand, wake to mild confusion most days, not about the tiny aspects of self-respect such as brushing my teeth and paying my bills but more the big things like my destiny, etc.” (John Blase)

I’m no celestial navigator either, so I wake to surrender with radical acceptance the path marked for me (King David’s words below), as the poet David Whyte names “the pale ground beneath my feet.”

Decades later, inclusive of all my jagged lined, cliff jumps, plummets, high places, “unbroken lines” culminating in a good story worthy of a campfire—wholehearted, friends with God, accompanying clients into the frontiers of business and wilderness. I’ve been led.

Embrace your long way round. Embrace the zig zag lines, the setback and allow yourself to be led.

Keep going,
Aaron

Poem by John Blase, It Is Not So Much
David Whyte, Start Close In
Wendell Berry, Jayber Crow, “Unbroken Lines”

“You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God. You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. That’s right- you don’t go off on your own, you walk straight along the road he set.” 

-King David, psalm 119

The world needs more wholehearted humans

I’ve got two quotes for you. “I wanted more than a job. I wanted deeper congruence between my inner and outer life.” Parker Palmer

The second quote, “The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart.” Andrew Bennett

Friends, if we desire more than a job, our vocational existence becoming more than just showing up with butt in a chair for role call “present”.

And if we dare to dream beyond the transactional interchange of relationship, the mini-dramas and living small.

There is only one choice.

The courageous choice is to put your money down, buy the golden ticket of congruence, buckle up for the mysterious beauty and mess of discovering how to foster friendship of heart and head—cultivating a deep knowing of God as your friend.

It isn’t quick. There aren’t shortcuts, VIP lines to skip ahead, and there isn’t a finish line.

The world needs more wholehearted humans. Signup. Buy the ticket. Wear the T-shirt and get started living true.

Play Unplugged-Live Music For Money in a Park

This really happened.

I convinced my brother that we needed to play impromptu acoustic unplugged live music in the city park in Santa Fe, NM. We’d just driven 2,700 miles across the desert southwest in our 1974 VW Bus and it was time to go out on a limb.

When was the last time you’ve done something ridiculous? I bet it’s been too long. Bang off the rust and go!

It reminds me of a great quote,

“The glory of God is man fully alive.”

Saint Irenaeus

Sometimes we need to jump, leap-off the couch of comfort, and into the wild places-past the caution signs and fear. Armed with a bit of tequila Santa Fe buzz, we unleashed our finger-picking, generously offering up a simple repertoire of brotherly riffs.

Instagram video @aarondmchugh “Truth be told we made $1 in tips on our first ever live park pickup jam acoustic unplugged session.”

Proudest moment Acoustic unplugged guitar pickup in old town Santa Fe

Life List: Climbing Both Matterhorn

I want to climb both Matterhorn. The Matterhorn in Switzerland 14,692 feet above sea level, the mountains of mountains, jagged-toothed and magnetic. The Matterhorn in Disneyland 147 feet above sea level; the summit is towering above Tomorrowland, home to an abominable snowman.

While I’m living, I will to summit both Matterhorn.

Who do you know at Disneyland that can help advise me on how to go about realizing my dream?

Here’s my Life List I first wrote in 2016.

The Matterhorn in Switzerland, formidable, ominous, technical and so inviting.
Forbidding access to most, Disneyland’s Matterhorn. I’ve held the dream to summit her concrete shoulders since I was eight years old.
Mountaineers summit bid on Disneyland’s Matterhorn towering 147 feet above the submarine lagoon. Difficult to access in its own unique way.

Explorers Manifesto

Thirteen of us just completed our maiden Explorers journey. Our bakers dozen, explored the frontier edges of big questions through a combination of Zoom virtual sessions and an in-person adventure weekend in Colorado. At the conclusion of our shared exploration journey, I shared this manifesto attempting to synthesize the key waypoints we navigated.

Three big questions framing our exploration

Earlier this summer, while hiking the Colorado Trail, three profound yet straightforward questions occupied my heart and mind.

  1. Where am I?
  2. Where am I headed?
  3. Who am I?

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given and sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. ”

-Saint Paul

Explorers Wanted Men wanted. Hazardous conditions. Uncertainty. Pushing into foreign territory. Prioritizing discomfort and questions over answers. Drawing back to see. “To see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel.” Return transformed.

Number one. Taking small actions often proceed our belief and mindset shifts. Behavior first, small steps lead our hearts forward.

Number two. Our attention must be reclaimed from the pings and notifications of our distracted world. The shallows of life-our distracted living– contribute to disconnection from those closest to us. God’s voice exists in the silence and stillness. Impact and intimacy require our attention. 

Number three. Building awareness of our reactive tendencies creates more choices in the moment. Exploring the old stories that drive our reactivity empowers us to reclaim that negative energy charge and pivot. Be lucid in the moment. “In this Now Moment, I know where I am.” Be your creative best. 

Number four. Adventure creates an escape hatch from the mundane of life. Learning to live outside our comfort zone enlarges and strengthens our identity. Remember David Whyte’s advice, “If we can place our identity at the edge of discovery. Then we have the possibility of a vital life.” Get hungry, get lost, refuse the tyranny of a life of extreme comfort.

Number five. Our lives, vocation, and souls are sacred. Approach your life and work as a tenacious craftsman planting trees transforming the terrain of your domain. Stay on the path laid out for you. Walk with beauty the ground beneath your feet. Remember Jesus’s invitation,  “You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.” 

Number six. Listen to your life. What can you NOT DO for reasons even you cannot explain? Deepen your resolve to listen intently- all of your life is speaking. Frederich Buechner “Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery it is. In the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy hidden heart of it, because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”

Number seven. Our relationships are assets in our wealth management portfolio. The grass grows wherever you water it. The better question- the ones we should ask is not how can I be better, but what is it that they need or want from me? How might I contribute to them thriving? Remember Dave and Sue.

Number eight. Start at the end and work backwards. Write your eulogy. Our eulogy is a window into the desired Future State of our life. You are leaving an impact today, is it for good or not. By working backward from the sunset of our lives, gaps are illuminated in our desired outcomes and today’s priorities, choices, and behaviors. The end is coming. What story are you authoring with your life?

Number nine. Men need friends. Thoreau lamented, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.” Refuse isolation as a mode of travel in this journey of life. Two are better than one. Choose friendships – even occasionally – go deeper past the plastic veneer and puncture together something real.

Number ten. The making of a brave man requires a whole heart – integrated, awake, “fierce with reality.” Exploring your frontier must become your default setting on your operating system. Life – your life – is waiting to be lived, experienced in vibrant intimacy with God and those entrusted to your care. Wake up. Choose an abundant abiding mysterious life.

Keep going. This is good for you. You can do this.

-Aaron

Explorers in the alpine air of Colorado summit crest of Sentinel Point, CO
Navigating a boulder field before we left treeline.
Touching the sun above the frosty clouds below. Explorers engaging our trifecta questions of Where am I? Where am I headed? Who am I?
Our summit block, lesser known Sentinel Point, CO on the back side of Pikes Peak.

The rewards of exploring our frontier?

One guy wrote this summary about his experience, ready to live forward with more vitality.

“I used to be overwhelmed by the tyranny of the urgent.  
Now, I’m learning to prioritize what is important over what is urgent,
I used to hide myself, thinking I was small and worthless.  
Now I am learning to be myself, and go the whole way.
I used to bury my grief.  
I am now learning to deal with it when it arrives, and be not embarrassed by shedding tears.”

-Explorer

Start Close In

Poet David Whyte writes,
“Start close in,
don’t take the second step
or the third,
start with the first
thing
close in,
the step
you don’t want to take.”

The first step is the hardest to take. We don’t know what will happen next.

We wonder, What if it doesn’t work?
What if I’m wrong?
Maybe I should wait and see what unfolds before I commit to action?

Perhaps those are true.
Perhaps the next step will become more apparent after we start close in when we begin with the first thing, “close in.”

Friend, I encourage you to take the first step.

Keep going-
Aaron

How Do You Define Adventure?

Years ago, sea kayaking in Scotland, I asked our guide, Tony Hammock, “How do you define adventure?” His first response was laughter, “I’m not sure I’ve ever bothered.” A perfect response from a professional adventurer. For those of us with computer hands, a subscription to Outside magazine, and unlived lives within us-we want to know.

I pressed him, warming him with my curiosity. While setting up his rainfly, a day’s paddle from his driveway, he began his muse. (Listen to the full podcast from 2015)

Aaron:
How do you define adventure?

Tony Hammock:
I think it’s about being somewhere special and it being some challenge to get there and the feeling of being a bit out on a limb.

So when you’re there, when you’re in that special place, there’s always that, well, are we going to be able to get back? Are we going to be able to get back on time, or is it going to be a bit hairy on the way back? And then the Hebrides and the islands (west coast of Scotland) around here happen a lot. You quite often get there thinking the weather forecast will give you a window to get back and then find yourself fighting the elements on the way back.

So I think it’s where you are, and the nature of the journey to get there and get back again defines it for me.

-Tony Hammock
Tony Hammock our guide giving us instructions on adventure and water rescue.

Aaron:
When you say “to get out on a limb.” What does that do to the rest of your life?

Tony Hammock:
It very much changes your perspective on the rest of life. Things that seem significant and crushing and very important to you and in your real life-Your real-life where you’re earning your living.

When you get out into a landscape like this and realize the age of the landscape and feel your part in it and participate in that journey, it gives you a longer view of your real life.

-Tony Hammock

I used to be involved in the automotive industry. And I can remember during the week we would be obsessed with the vehicle evaluation score, our quality measure, and then I’d get out of the weekends, and I’ll be out with the seals (sea kayaking) and gannets (birds), and on the landscape and you think, ah, “it’s not so important (work and stress).” Then you get back to work on a Monday, and you’d find out that it damn well was and everybody else made sure that you knew it was.

But it still gave you that chance to drawback and take some bit of peace to look your life from a distance.

-Tony Hammock
Adventure is the escape hatch from the normal, predictable to draw back and gain new perspective.

A tip of my cap to Tony Hammock for this wisdom

“I’ve been a paddler since the Beatles made the White Album and I got my first coaching qualification the year that Bill Clinton became president!
I topped out on qualification with Level 5 Coach status in 2012, but I still feel like every paddling day is a new experience and I feel very lucky to live and work in this world-class sea kayaking area.
As a level 5 coach and 5 Star leader, I can guide and coach pretty much any aspect of sea kayaking in anything from mirror like conditions to Force 5+ and strong tidal flows
I seem to have become a bit of a specialist in:
Building confidence
Sea kayak safety
Long term development
Moving seawater and tide-race paddling
Converting pool rolls to real rolls
Alaska!”
Sea Freedom Kayaking UK