Working Vacations: Why we do it and how to stop

I received a desperate email that read, “I’m in leadership, working crazy hours, working through my vacation last week instead of resting, and the story goes on.”

The gravitational pull is to always be connected, always available, and always responding- even on vacation. I’ve done it too-taken calls on the beach while the kids swam, squeezed in a few emails before breakfast, dialed into a “quick” call during dinner, returning seven days later, tired and frustrated.

Why do we struggle to step away, trusting that others can and will find their path to good outcomes?

Reminds me of the children’s book, “If You Give A Pig a Pancake” A cautionary tale of saying yes once, the Pig never relents from her requests.

Excerpt from the book
If you give a pig a pancake, she’ll want some syrup to go with it.
Pig: May I please have some syrup?
When she gets all sticky, she’ll want to take a bath.
Pig: May I please have some bubbles and a toy?
When you give her your rubber duck, she’ll feel homesick.

Book by Laura Numeroff

Your working vacation and The Pig

Sticking with our Pig and a pancake analogy, here’s the version of the story you’re familiar with from your most recent holiday break. The new requests are like the Pig-never fully satisfied.

(Sunday night email) If you can join the call on Tuesday morning at 630am, I promise it will be a quick one.

(Monday text) After the call, May I please also receive a written summary and go ahead and put it into a few PPT pages?

(Tuesday email & text) There is an RFP we’re working on that just came in-quick deadline. I would love for you to answer just a few questions on pages 12-28. Do you mind? It would be super helpful-its due before you return from holiday.

(Wednesday email) May I please have only two more hours of your attention, during that family dinner you’d planned, the RFP client has a Q&A-the only time everyone is available. You can make it, right?

-You get the picture. It’s not a vacation. It’s what my friend calls “PTO-Pretend Time Off”.

Florence, Italy at sunset Photo Credits @Averi McHugh

“If you don’t prioritize your life, someone else will.”

-Greg McKeown, Essentialism

Here’s my advice for how to enable real rest

In the modern world, rest is vital to replenish the nutrients in our creative engines. Prioritize your rest and recovery. Operationalize your values with better choices. Take responsibility and do your creative best with your own life. In your absence, trust that others will step up and in to solve the challenges of the day.

For your next holiday, borrow my out-of-office auto-responder. Here’s the one I use, (Thanks Well-being thought leader Jen Fisher for the inspiration)

“I will be out of the office on vacation with my family beginning Monday, July 3rd, returning July 17th. I and my devices will be resting, replenishing my creative engine. I look forward to responding upon my return.”

Out of Office autoresponder

Recover your life and enable yourself a real rest.

You can do this.
Keep going-
Aaron

Soulful Exploration Requires Wilderness

The modern world is a hindrance to soulful exploration. The naked soul of man is too timid, too armored to disclose whole truths quickly. Step slowly into the quiet, spacious places to explore the courageous questions that lay in wait beyond your full-throttled Life.

Maybe it’s been a while since you had a bold conversation with yourself. Get out there. Forget the map. Get lost if you must.

With God as your guide, explore and whisper your questions. Stay out there. Then return with your heart forward and your spirit attuned to mapping the edges of your frontier.

Abundant, vibrant Life awaits. You can do this.


Keep going-
Aaron

Staring into the wild places beyond the modern world in the Weminuche Wilderness, CO

We are not human doings

Can you remember? Can you remember the last time you walked out your front door and wandered-no plans-no reservations-and explored your own backyard, the simple spots, maybe even the lost places?

Adventure awaits the curious-hearted, an escape hatch from the mundane and predictable tyranny of screens and mindless routines.

Rambling infuses joy into your life and reminds your soul that productivity and conquest are not your primary purpose here.

We are not human doings.

We are human beings intimately created to connect.

You can do this.
Keep Going-
Aaron

Transmissions for the outsiders

If I stopped writing for a while, a pause from publishing and promoting, I’d more readily find the words below the surface.
I see now I may never catalog the anthologies of my soul while in silence.
I believed the world’s volume and density were too much to puncture.
I broadcast on a lower frequency for those beyond the crowds.
I used to believe I needed to understand what I was trying to say; who’s it for? What’s it about? how will it help?

Now I know the grounded substance of my Life, my rooted strength, transmits “wake up to your Life. God’s with us.”

I’m puzzled by five-year plans, same-day shipping, fresh strawberries in February, Alexa, and how humans claim to love while radically excluding.
Call me a zealot of simplicity, sustainability, and radical love of outsiders

It’s Love who wrote the play.

Trip Report: Alaska’s Gates of the Arctic

“Alaska’s Ultimate Wilderness,” The Brooks Range-North America’s Northernmost mountain range is home to The Gates of the Arctic National Park and Preserve. In early June of 2021, our adventure trio Chris, Dave, and I, explored eighty-three trail-less miles inside the Gates of the Arctic. For eight days, we became Arctic residents in this expansive manless environment. Without human contact, constant silence, our fourth adventure companion.

A quick snapshot: Our intended exploration itinerary was to cross multiple high mountain passes, arranging for a bush plane pickup eight days later. To our surprise, winter’s blanket still covered the high peaks and mountain passes with waist-deep snow limiting our travel to the lower elevation glacial valleys. Slowly the Arctic awoke to spring’s animation accelerated by twenty-three hours of daylight and rain. River’s swelled as every hillside, peak, and knoll drained winter’s cold shroud.

Most of the locals appeared not to register what we were. Our wildlife log included the Western Arctic Caribou, Grizzly bear, Dall sheep, moose, Arctic fox, ptarmigan. Our tundra trio experienced a rare and elusive lone wolverine attempting to share our breakfast.

Walking up another nameless valley, west of Oolah Valley, this headwall looked like something from the Karakorum range in Pakistan. We often questioned what planet were we on, or which David Attenborough film were we in?

Why Go Here?
We went to see and experience a wild, undeveloped, rugged wilderness void of man’s intrusive disruption. Alaska’s Gates of the Arctic National Park and Preserve, located in the Arctic Circle, is as wild and untamed as early explorers discovered her in the 1880s.

Camp 4 underneath the Karakorum headwall, our lullaby was crashing ice sheets falling down the North face as the twenty-three hour daylight and rain rapidly accelerated winters retreat.

Some facts about “The Gates”
There are countless unnamed peaks, frigid crags, and endless tundra north of the divide. The park boundary is the second largest national park in North America, making it 3.5 times larger than Yellowstone. Containing no roads, trails, or signs, and if you underestimate what’s required, the National Park Service warns, you must be self-sufficient. There is NO ONE nearby if you run into trouble.

How long should I go for? A few days to weeks. Most groups require food resupply after 8-10 days. Our eight day, seven night trip was perfect.

Ascending to investigate will the snow provide a window of travel or will we be turned around?

Season: When asking the question “when should I go,” The Brooks Range has a complicated set of questions, trade-offs, and considerations to evaluate. See Andrew Skurka’s Quick Start Guide assess your options thoroughly. We arrived Mid-June which came with twenty-hours+ of daylight, requiring an eye mask to sleep and before mosquito season.

“Moose Alley,” we nicknamed this couple of mile head-high thicket. Endless brush, alder, and willows towering over-head and impairing our view. We followed Moose scat up the riverbed, gauging “how fresh is that scat” anxiously wanting to avoid surprising a 1,000 lb. Alaskan bull moose.

My Journal entries during our adventure
Day 2: Terrain is a Star Wars movie. Endless valleys, wide sweeping glacial remnants. The hills are dormant-not awaken to alpine summer.
Day 2 evening: Out and up unnamed valley toward unnamed pass. Lots of deep snow. Decided to turn down after watching a small snow slide break across our path. Full hearted day as friends as brothers.
Day 3: Grizzly bears, caribou, arctic fox, moose-a regular alpine zoo. Amazing. Big river we decided not to cross-swollen, fast.
Day 4-5: No entry. Guess, I was too tired. Nursing an Achilles heel injury I brought with me.
Day 6: “God is the country in which I live” Eugene Peterson
Pickup day: @ landing strip, crossed river last night after we pitched our tents on a windy ridge. Decided to walk to here instead. Awaiting Dirk’s pickup, Coyote Air 1953 bush plane “Pumpkin”.

Coyote Air owner and Alaskan bush pilot veteran Dirk dropped us above the frozen Oolah Lake straight onto the tundra landing strip. Unloaded our gear, checked that the wind hadn’t changed, and down-winded into his takeoff for home. Returning eight days later to retrieve us and fly back to Coldfoot, AK.

Getting there by bush plane
Custom charter air taxi “bush plane” service from Coyote Air in Coldfoot, AK. Our pilots, Dirk Nickish & Danielle Tirrell are seasoned Arctic veterans. Getting to Coldfoot: From Fairbanks or Anchorage, AK, fly Wright Air or drive the Dalton Highway five to six hours from Fairbanks. Getting to The Gates required a total of four airline legs. Denver to Anchorage, to Fairbanks, to Coldfoot, to the Gates of the Arctic drop point to begin our adventure. Plan on enjoying the Alaskan experience where the weather influences every schedule. In total our air travel cost was around $2,000.

Evening happy hour ritual with a finger or less of whiskey, a music playlist chosen by the tent host. Priceless. I scratched handwritten VIP invitation tickets for each of the fellas, “Come join me for happy hour.” Chris retained his VIP ticket, it sits bedside back at home to today, a reminder of the beauty in little things. These wild places remind us that we are proud owners of everything that can’t be purchased.

Gear worthy of mention:
I’ve upgraded the backcountry equipment I carry on these expeditions with a focus on ultra light. I’m no zealot over ounces, but I do appreciate stuff that works, stuff that holds up and reduces my base weight of 13-14 lbs (my pack weight including everything but food and water).
Feathered Friends Helios Hooded Down Jacket
Hyperlight’s 4400 Southwest Ultralight backpack
Sierra Design High Route 1 person shelter
Trail Design Sidewinder Tri-Ti 900 ML bundle Alcohol stove

My favorite piece of gear for this trip was my Feathered Friends Helios down hooded jacket. Instant warmth, compressible and easy-to-access pockets to plunge in cold hands. Pictured here heating up our breakfast “cuppa” after a few hours of walking over tussock. “A tussock is a large knob of soil with tufts of grass or sedges growing on top. They range in a variety of sizes, and are a notable obstacle when walking.”

Resources:
Andrew Skurka has extensive experience exploring the Brooks Range and provides backpacking enthusiasts helpful resources: A quick start guide, a gear list for June, and details about their guided trips.

When the sun came out, the rain stopped, we danced like kings, Tundra Tough kings. The expansiveness of the place held big questions like “Who is God? and What’s God really like? What’s next for me in this season?” Our buddy Dave was getting married in a few months, and we explorers-the wedding party-the minister, groom, and best man.

Special thanks:
Dave Eitemiller, the Pathfinder, put this trip together with his extensive Arctic experience and love for analytics, logistics, and planning. He deserves special thanks as well for many of these photos. Thanks to Andrew Skurka and the opportunity to benefit from your six-month exploration of the Brooks Range.

A letter from home, a picture for each day my lovely wife hid in my pack before departure. So invigorating to open each day.
Springs emergence become more evident by the day. The gift of arriving mid-June, we witnessed the daily awakening of subtle colors of life.
Weeks later, our buddy Dave still guiding in the Gates, reminded us of how majestic the Arctic tundra became after our departure. We must go back and see it ourselves.

Paying Attention to Being On Purpose vs. Off Purpose

So you don’t yet know what your life purpose is, why you are here and what you are here to do. Try paying attention to the moments, the conversations, the ways you feel On Purpose. Here are a few small On Purpose practices that help me experience purposeful living and leading.

I’m like WALL-E the Pixar Robot. My family giggles, but I pick up trash everywhere I go. I value caring for the planet and our home instead of stepping over debris in parking lots and trails. I kneel and clean as I go about life wherever I am. I’m On Purpose when I’m participating in restoring the planet’s beauty.

Imagine how beautiful our world will be when 7.9 billion people care for our home.

Here’s another. I put down my phone when going through a check-out lane at a store or in a drive-through. I choose to honor and engage the human being before me. I believe Saint Paul “we are God’s workmanship” we human beings are valuable, and I dignify the Divine in them by giving one another our full attention. This way of operating in the world applies with senior executives or a customer service rep; I’m On Purpose when I’m dignifying every human.

Imagine how we will treat one another when we believe all human beings are valuable.

We will find ourselves Off Purpose, for moments, maybe for weeks and years, ignoring and running the risk of eventually forgetting what we value and believe.

The poet David Whyte worked with a group of particularly thoughtful managers, looking at how we sacrifice our personal desires (Off Purpose) on the altar of work and success. One of the women in the group shared a handful of haunting lines:
“Ten years ago…
I turned my face for a moment
and it became my life.”

With grace and curiosity, pay attention to your compass needle. Notice when you’ve traveled many miles without checking your instrumentation. Regularly ask yourself, “where am I? how am I? where am I heading?” It’s much easier to make regular minor adjustments than waiting too long.

You’ll be surprised to discover that after paying attention, strengthening your awareness muscle, making two-degree shifts, “what’s my purpose, what am I here to do?” becomes easier to dance with. It won’t be about having the correct answer anymore. You’ll speak about the way you live, work, play, and love.

Stay alert. Choose being On Purpose.

Keep going-
Aaron

Losing our sense of frontier in life

“Without going out into the fresh air, stepping away from the house, without getting caught in a storm, without getting cold, wet, without feeling hungry, a human being begins to lose their sense of frontier in their life. Their sense of edge in their own explorations.”

-David Whyte

When was the last time you stepped away from the house, took a long walk, and felt the cold air, the wind on your cheeks, grumbles of hunger?

Where is the frontier in your life? The unexplored edges of uncertainty. Forget the places of mastery and dominion. Where are you, the student, the novice, an explorer?

Where are you exploring the unknown, unfamiliar landscape of your life, the contours off the map?

Get outside, leave the pack and your sweater. Feel the cold. Remember that the frontier is where you feel alive.

Keep going-
Aaron

Trip Report: Stranger Things From Our Eyes in Hawkins, Indiana

Description: In search of Stranger Things, we visited dozens of Stranger Things filming locations in fictional Hawkins, Indiana (actually filmed in the greater Atlanta, GA metro). But first, some backdrop to our adventure-seeking. We both love stories told through cinema. For me, it started in 1979 with Star Wars, A New Hope in a mountain town theater known for Mule Days. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the lost ark were a late-night showing for poor grad students on Mizzou’s college campus in middle school. After paying for an age-appropriate PG film for Stephen King’s Rated R Stand By Me in high school, I snuck in. 

For our cinematography college student daughter, a Middle-school obsession with the vanishing of Will Byers sparked the quest for us to explore Hawkins, IN. For the release of Stranger Things season 2, she hosted a binge-watching all-nighter fit with our transmission-ready Upside Down Christmas light alphabet keyboard.

Upside Down ready for transmission

Length: 3-4 days

Pro tip: We rented a Scamper Van in Atlanta and slept at RV Parks and one Walmart Parking lot. 

Scamper Van in the foreground of The Hawkins Laboratory. Photo credit @Averi McHugh

The rewards: After we finished walking the railroad tracks in Stone Mountain Park, where 11 throws off the boys’ compasses needles to prevent them from finding “the gate.” Averi connected to her film class over zoom from the Scamper Van mobile office. “Hey Averi, where are you?” What better learning for a film degree than to visit actual filming sites to appreciate the complexity, diversity, geographic expanse required to stitch together the fictional Hawkins, IN. 

We arrived at Hawkins Middle School to be greeted by a security guard. We bashfully mentioned why we were on campus in our not so cognito Scamper Van, “Have you ever heard of the show Stranger Things?” 

His response was, “well you guys need to leave.” 

“Oh, sorry, just wanted to look around.” 

“They are filming now (Season 4), and the cast is inside the school.” 

MINDBLOWN tears followed.

Onset of Stranger Things Season 4, Hawkins Middle School outside of Atlanta, GA

Locations we visited in Hawkins, IN: 

-Mike’s House (The Wheeler Family Home)

-Hawkins Lab

-The van flip location

-Railroad tracks

-Dustin’s House

-Luca’s House

-Downtown Hawkins

-Melvald’s General Store

-Hawk Theather

-Palace Arcade

-Hawkins Middle School 

-Benny’s Burgers

-Starcourt Mall

-Hawkins Community Pool

-Hawkins Town Hall

-Hawkins Woods

-Downtown Chicago

-Abandoned Mill

-Trick-or-Treating House

Season: Anytime

Resources:
Here’s the map that we used from Atlanta Magazine. Each location address is listed.

The Stranger Things Season 1, Episode 1 script

The railroad tracks where multiple scenes were shot from Stranger Things, emulating a classic scene from Stand By Me. Photo credit @Averi McHugh
The Hawkins Lab is as creepy in person as it is on screen, but with fewer satellite dishes on the roof. Photo credit @Averi McHugh
Mike Wheeler’s house the epicenter of the story developing of friendship and adolescent adventure.
Photo credit @Averi McHugh
The Palace Arcade appeared to still be an active set with games inside, neon lights and black trash bags covering the windows. Season Four? Photo credit @Averi McHugh
Season Three, The Mill Photo credit @Averi McHugh
Many of the context shots in Stranger Things are of simple landscapes to set tone, time and season. This field is adjacent to Mike’s house. Photo credit @Averi McHugh

Reach for the stuff that’s real

A craftsman cobbler just resoled my fly fishing wading boots, and they’re ready for another “one hundred thousand casts.” The landfill was calling for them.

Our modern world has an insatiable appetite for new—version 6.0. Version 13.0, and it’s killing us and the planet we call home. This isn’t a post just about saving the world. It’s about the deeper drivers-what and who we value and how our hearts and souls are connected.

Allow me to share a cowboy tune from Guy Clark with you, and then we’ll reconvene.

I got an old blue shirt and it suits me just fine.
I like the way it feels, so I wear it all the time
I got an old guitar, won’t ever stay in tune
I like the way it sounds in a dark and empty room
I got an old pair of boots, and they fit just right
Well I can work all day, and I can dance all night
I got an old used car, and it runs just like a top
I get the feelin’ it ain’t ever gonna stop
Stuff that works, stuff that holds up
The kind of stuff you don’t hang on the wall
Stuff that’s real, stuff you feel
The kind of stuff you reach for when you fall
I got a pretty good friend who’s seen me at my worst
He can’t tell if I’m a blessing or a curse
But he always shows up when chips are down
That’s the kind of stuff I like to be around
Stuff that works, stuff that holds up
The kind of stuff you don’t hang on the wall
Stuff that’s real, stuff you feel
The kind of stuff you reach for when you fall
I got a woman I love, she’s crazy, paints like God
She’s got a playground sense of justice, she won’t take odds
I got a tattoo with her name right through my soul
I think everything she touches turns to gold
Stuff that works, stuff that holds up
The kind of stuff you don’t hang on the wall
Stuff that’s real, stuff you feel
The kind of stuff you reach for when you fall

Perhaps, the boots we have, the old car, the pretty good friend, and the partner we love are the stuff that’s real, stuff we feel. The kind of stuff you reach for when you fall.

Stay with the stuff that’s real. Resist the upgrade.

Keep going-

Aaron

“I can work all day and dance all night”
“I got an old used car, and it runs just like a top
I get the feelin’ it ain’t ever gonna stop”
“I got a pretty good friend who’s seen me at my worst
He can’t tell if I’m a blessing or a curse
But he always shows up when chips are down
That’s the kind of stuff I like to be around”
“I got a woman I love, she’s crazy, paints like God
She’s got a playground sense of justice, she won’t take odds
I got a tattoo with her name right through my soul
I think everything she touches turns to gold”

A good story is not a straight line

Intellectually I know this, “a good story is not a straight line.” In the beginning, I wanted to be a mountain guide, exploring the rugged blank spots on the map. Immaturity convinced me to avoid the world of business for fear of losing my friendship with the heart of God.
I side-lined my guide aspirations and started selling radio advertising commercials and playing at the park—home by 5 pm for family dinner and bedtime stories for the kids. The younger places in me could not see the good story being forged. All I thought I saw were zig zags.

Maybe you’re like me, and you want a foolproof plan to the result, the destination.

A plus B equals C.

Results in linearity, sequential, predictable outcomes, and only straight lines. For some, their five-year plan appears flawlessly executed. “This same some (apparently) forge through life with a plan, a map they chart by bolder stars. I, on the other hand, wake to mild confusion most days, not about the tiny aspects of self-respect such as brushing my teeth and paying my bills but more the big things like my destiny, etc.” (John Blase)

I’m no celestial navigator either, so I wake to surrender with radical acceptance the path marked for me (King David’s words below), as the poet David Whyte names “the pale ground beneath my feet.”

Decades later, inclusive of all my jagged lined, cliff jumps, plummets, high places, “unbroken lines” culminating in a good story worthy of a campfire—wholehearted, friends with God, accompanying clients into the frontiers of business and wilderness. I’ve been led.

Embrace your long way round. Embrace the zig zag lines, the setback and allow yourself to be led.

Keep going,
Aaron

Poem by John Blase, It Is Not So Much
David Whyte, Start Close In
Wendell Berry, Jayber Crow, “Unbroken Lines”

“You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God. You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. That’s right- you don’t go off on your own, you walk straight along the road he set.” 

-King David, psalm 119