Paying Attention to Being On Purpose vs. Off Purpose

So you don’t yet know what your life purpose is, why you are here and what you are here to do. Try paying attention to the moments, the conversations, the ways you feel On Purpose. Here are a few small On Purpose practices that help me experience purposeful living and leading.

I’m like WALL-E the Pixar Robot. My family giggles, but I pick up trash everywhere I go. I value caring for the planet and our home instead of stepping over debris in parking lots and trails. I kneel and clean as I go about life wherever I am. I’m On Purpose when I’m participating in restoring the planet’s beauty.

Imagine how beautiful our world will be when 7.9 billion people care for our home.

Here’s another. I put down my phone when going through a check-out lane at a store or in a drive-through. I choose to honor and engage the human being before me. I believe Saint Paul “we are God’s workmanship” we human beings are valuable, and I dignify the Divine in them by giving one another our full attention. This way of operating in the world applies with senior executives or a customer service rep; I’m On Purpose when I’m dignifying every human.

Imagine how we will treat one another when we believe all human beings are valuable.

We will find ourselves Off Purpose, for moments, maybe for weeks and years, ignoring and running the risk of eventually forgetting what we value and believe.

The poet David Whyte worked with a group of particularly thoughtful managers, looking at how we sacrifice our personal desires (Off Purpose) on the altar of work and success. One of the women in the group shared a handful of haunting lines:
“Ten years ago…
I turned my face for a moment
and it became my life.”

With grace and curiosity, pay attention to your compass needle. Notice when you’ve traveled many miles without checking your instrumentation. Regularly ask yourself, “where am I? how am I? where am I heading?” It’s much easier to make regular minor adjustments than waiting too long.

You’ll be surprised to discover that after paying attention, strengthening your awareness muscle, making two-degree shifts, “what’s my purpose, what am I here to do?” becomes easier to dance with. It won’t be about having the correct answer anymore. You’ll speak about the way you live, work, play, and love.

Stay alert. Choose being On Purpose.

Keep going-
Aaron

Losing our sense of frontier in life

“Without going out into the fresh air, stepping away from the house, without getting caught in a storm, without getting cold, wet, without feeling hungry, a human being begins to lose their sense of frontier in their life. Their sense of edge in their own explorations.”

-David Whyte

When was the last time you stepped away from the house, took a long walk, and felt the cold air, the wind on your cheeks, grumbles of hunger?

Where is the frontier in your life? The unexplored edges of uncertainty. Forget the places of mastery and dominion. Where are you, the student, the novice, an explorer?

Where are you exploring the unknown, unfamiliar landscape of your life, the contours off the map?

Get outside, leave the pack and your sweater. Feel the cold. Remember that the frontier is where you feel alive.

Keep going-
Aaron

Trip Report: Stranger Things From Our Eyes in Hawkins, Indiana

Description: In search of Stranger Things, we visited dozens of Stranger Things filming locations in fictional Hawkins, Indiana (actually filmed in the greater Atlanta, GA metro). But first, some backdrop to our adventure-seeking. We both love stories told through cinema. For me, it started in 1979 with Star Wars, A New Hope in a mountain town theater known for Mule Days. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the lost ark were a late-night showing for poor grad students on Mizzou’s college campus in middle school. After paying for an age-appropriate PG film for Stephen King’s Rated R Stand By Me in high school, I snuck in. 

For our cinematography college student daughter, a Middle-school obsession with the vanishing of Will Byers sparked the quest for us to explore Hawkins, IN. For the release of Stranger Things season 2, she hosted a binge-watching all-nighter fit with our transmission-ready Upside Down Christmas light alphabet keyboard.

Upside Down ready for transmission

Length: 3-4 days

Pro tip: We rented a Scamper Van in Atlanta and slept at RV Parks and one Walmart Parking lot. 

Scamper Van in the foreground of The Hawkins Laboratory. Photo credit @Averi McHugh

The rewards: After we finished walking the railroad tracks in Stone Mountain Park, where 11 throws off the boys’ compasses needles to prevent them from finding “the gate.” Averi connected to her film class over zoom from the Scamper Van mobile office. “Hey Averi, where are you?” What better learning for a film degree than to visit actual filming sites to appreciate the complexity, diversity, geographic expanse required to stitch together the fictional Hawkins, IN. 

We arrived at Hawkins Middle School to be greeted by a security guard. We bashfully mentioned why we were on campus in our not so cognito Scamper Van, “Have you ever heard of the show Stranger Things?” 

His response was, “well you guys need to leave.” 

“Oh, sorry, just wanted to look around.” 

“They are filming now (Season 4), and the cast is inside the school.” 

MINDBLOWN tears followed.

Onset of Stranger Things Season 4, Hawkins Middle School outside of Atlanta, GA

Locations we visited in Hawkins, IN: 

-Mike’s House (The Wheeler Family Home)

-Hawkins Lab

-The van flip location

-Railroad tracks

-Dustin’s House

-Luca’s House

-Downtown Hawkins

-Melvald’s General Store

-Hawk Theather

-Palace Arcade

-Hawkins Middle School 

-Benny’s Burgers

-Starcourt Mall

-Hawkins Community Pool

-Hawkins Town Hall

-Hawkins Woods

-Downtown Chicago

-Abandoned Mill

-Trick-or-Treating House

Season: Anytime

Resources:
Here’s the map that we used from Atlanta Magazine. Each location address is listed.

The Stranger Things Season 1, Episode 1 script

The railroad tracks where multiple scenes were shot from Stranger Things, emulating a classic scene from Stand By Me. Photo credit @Averi McHugh
The Hawkins Lab is as creepy in person as it is on screen, but with fewer satellite dishes on the roof. Photo credit @Averi McHugh
Mike Wheeler’s house the epicenter of the story developing of friendship and adolescent adventure.
Photo credit @Averi McHugh
The Palace Arcade appeared to still be an active set with games inside, neon lights and black trash bags covering the windows. Season Four? Photo credit @Averi McHugh
Season Three, The Mill Photo credit @Averi McHugh
Many of the context shots in Stranger Things are of simple landscapes to set tone, time and season. This field is adjacent to Mike’s house. Photo credit @Averi McHugh

Reach for the stuff that’s real

A craftsman cobbler just resoled my fly fishing wading boots, and they’re ready for another “one hundred thousand casts.” The landfill was calling for them.

Our modern world has an insatiable appetite for new—version 6.0. Version 13.0, and it’s killing us and the planet we call home. This isn’t a post just about saving the world. It’s about the deeper drivers-what and who we value and how our hearts and souls are connected.

Allow me to share a cowboy tune from Guy Clark with you, and then we’ll reconvene.

I got an old blue shirt and it suits me just fine.
I like the way it feels, so I wear it all the time
I got an old guitar, won’t ever stay in tune
I like the way it sounds in a dark and empty room
I got an old pair of boots, and they fit just right
Well I can work all day, and I can dance all night
I got an old used car, and it runs just like a top
I get the feelin’ it ain’t ever gonna stop
Stuff that works, stuff that holds up
The kind of stuff you don’t hang on the wall
Stuff that’s real, stuff you feel
The kind of stuff you reach for when you fall
I got a pretty good friend who’s seen me at my worst
He can’t tell if I’m a blessing or a curse
But he always shows up when chips are down
That’s the kind of stuff I like to be around
Stuff that works, stuff that holds up
The kind of stuff you don’t hang on the wall
Stuff that’s real, stuff you feel
The kind of stuff you reach for when you fall
I got a woman I love, she’s crazy, paints like God
She’s got a playground sense of justice, she won’t take odds
I got a tattoo with her name right through my soul
I think everything she touches turns to gold
Stuff that works, stuff that holds up
The kind of stuff you don’t hang on the wall
Stuff that’s real, stuff you feel
The kind of stuff you reach for when you fall

Perhaps, the boots we have, the old car, the pretty good friend, and the partner we love are the stuff that’s real, stuff we feel. The kind of stuff you reach for when you fall.

Stay with the stuff that’s real. Resist the upgrade.

Keep going-

Aaron

“I can work all day and dance all night”
“I got an old used car, and it runs just like a top
I get the feelin’ it ain’t ever gonna stop”
“I got a pretty good friend who’s seen me at my worst
He can’t tell if I’m a blessing or a curse
But he always shows up when chips are down
That’s the kind of stuff I like to be around”
“I got a woman I love, she’s crazy, paints like God
She’s got a playground sense of justice, she won’t take odds
I got a tattoo with her name right through my soul
I think everything she touches turns to gold”

A good story is not a straight line

Intellectually I know this, “a good story is not a straight line.” In the beginning, I wanted to be a mountain guide, exploring the rugged blank spots on the map. Immaturity convinced me to avoid the world of business for fear of losing my friendship with the heart of God.
I side-lined my guide aspirations and started selling radio advertising commercials and playing at the park—home by 5 pm for family dinner and bedtime stories for the kids. The younger places in me could not see the good story being forged. All I thought I saw were zig zags.

Maybe you’re like me, and you want a foolproof plan to the result, the destination.

A plus B equals C.

Results in linearity, sequential, predictable outcomes, and only straight lines. For some, their five-year plan appears flawlessly executed. “This same some (apparently) forge through life with a plan, a map they chart by bolder stars. I, on the other hand, wake to mild confusion most days, not about the tiny aspects of self-respect such as brushing my teeth and paying my bills but more the big things like my destiny, etc.” (John Blase)

I’m no celestial navigator either, so I wake to surrender with radical acceptance the path marked for me (King David’s words below), as the poet David Whyte names “the pale ground beneath my feet.”

Decades later, inclusive of all my jagged lined, cliff jumps, plummets, high places, “unbroken lines” culminating in a good story worthy of a campfire—wholehearted, friends with God, accompanying clients into the frontiers of business and wilderness. I’ve been led.

Embrace your long way round. Embrace the zig zag lines, the setback and allow yourself to be led.

Keep going,
Aaron

Poem by John Blase, It Is Not So Much
David Whyte, Start Close In
Wendell Berry, Jayber Crow, “Unbroken Lines”

“You’re blessed when you stay on course, walking steadily on the road revealed by God. You’re blessed when you follow his directions, doing your best to find him. That’s right- you don’t go off on your own, you walk straight along the road he set.” 

-King David, psalm 119

Pierce the veneer of outside things

“We had pierced the veneer of outside things… We had reached the naked soul of men.”

— Ernest Shackleton, South

The veneer of outside things exists in polished half-truths. “I’m great. So busy,” we say, operating at seven thousand RPMs. Drop the busy merit badge. Pierce the veneer. Real connection, belonging, and community exists in the deeper textures. Be whole, be intentional, be on purpose. Reach the naked soul.

Keep going,

Aaron

Dream Bigger Dreams

“Disturb me, Lord, when I am too well. Pleased with myself when my dreams have come true because I have dreamed too little.” I’m wondering about these lines, asking myself, what are my new dreams? Not the vintage ones of yesteryear, but the bashful whispers too big to say aloud? Danger’s calling.

Keep going-
Aaron

Exploring winter’s edge the Brooks Range Gates of the Arctic National Park

What Can You NOT DO

“Vocation at its deepest level is. ‘This is something I can’t NOT do, for reasons I’m unable to explain to anyone else and don’t fully understand myself but that are nonetheless compelling.”

Parker Palmer

A generous, expansive invitation for us to consider what can we NOT DO. What’s the thing you find yourself doing, thinking, exploring without prompt or obligation? A friend shared with me that he “Can NOT” photograph bacteria. He discovered galaxies in his DIY Petri dishes, unable to stop himself, he’s documented his work in a children’s book for his daughters. I call that a “Good Amount of Weird“.

Compelled for reasons I do not understand

Palmer absolves us of the necessity of explanation. We need not attempt to have a sensible reason, even for ourselves. But paying attention to what and where I feel compelled, mysteriously thrust into, unable to resist.

I am compelled, for reasons I do not fully understand,

-help humans thrive

-recharge my mind and soul in the wilderness

-go first down unknown paths

-extract my interior life onto paper, pen, audio

-make maps like a cartographer documenting the topographic edges of the frontier.

Let’s close with another sojourner compelled to make maps for us to follow. “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” Frederick Buechner

Where is your deep gladness?

Keep going,

Aaron

Write it by hand instead

Write it down. Don’t send a text, an email, a DM. Take out a piece of paper, tear out a page in a magazine, locate your favorite stationery in the back of your closet, and handwrite your thoughts, appreciations, birthday wishes, and good-byes.

Years ago, a friend of ours shared his homemade birthday card with me, “I make all of my cards.” I’ve never purchased a card since. Last month I scribed notes to dear allies in my decade-long grief journey, a letter written on a topographic map to a friend-of-a-friend’s daughter in a trauma recovery program.

Handwritten words create physical artifacts to reside in our lives, serving as reminders-we’re loved, we are seen, of who and how we want to be.

Live bravely and write it down to bring more life.

Keep going,

Aaron

My daughter wrote me this note on an old surfing journal to ask me if I wanted to camp out in our ’74 VW Bus in the parking lot of the new Chick-fil-A to get free food for one year.
On vacation I wrote these notes to our family and taped them to the front door of our beach condo reminding us to ask for help. The instigator of this note came after our son scraped our car pulling into the garage. 🙂

The world needs more wholehearted humans

I’ve got two quotes for you. “I wanted more than a job. I wanted deeper congruence between my inner and outer life.” Parker Palmer

The second quote, “The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart.” Andrew Bennett

Friends, if we desire more than a job, our vocational existence becoming more than just showing up with butt in a chair for role call “present”.

And if we dare to dream beyond the transactional interchange of relationship, the mini-dramas and living small.

There is only one choice.

The courageous choice is to put your money down, buy the golden ticket of congruence, buckle up for the mysterious beauty and mess of discovering how to foster friendship of heart and head—cultivating a deep knowing of God as your friend.

It isn’t quick. There aren’t shortcuts, VIP lines to skip ahead, and there isn’t a finish line.

The world needs more wholehearted humans. Signup. Buy the ticket. Wear the T-shirt and get started living true.