Don’t Do It For Fame

The truth is I do want to be noticed. Behind that shallow layer of hoping I’m seen, the deeper truth is I want my life to matter. It is a bit embarrassing to admit, but when I am writing, the pursuit of fame can surface with this whisper, “Maybe so-and-so will read this and then he will share it and then his six million followers will read it”.

When I began writing, I tried to write what I thought people would want to read. It was crap. No wonder no one read any of it. When I made the shift to simply be myself, go with my weird, people starting finding me. There is great irony in this principle. The more we are authentic the more attractive we become.

When the pursuit of fame is our motive, the less authentic and relatable we become. Whatever you are pursuing, check your motive. Remind yourself that what the world really needs is you to be authentically you.  Don’t do it for fame.

Find the full list of 99 Ways to Navigate Your Best Life. Download the free field guide.

My Beliefs, Rituals and Habits

A friend wrote me and asked me about my beliefs, rituals, and habits that have reshaped my work life play. I thought you might find it helpful.

Friend,
Love your sentiment about balance being BS. I actually agree. I think a better view is being integrated instead of compartmentalized.

My old life was very compartmentalized

I worked. I tended to my family. I played. I exercised. The problem with that approach was life is too messy to stay in a compartment. So when I started embracing that integration of all aspects of my life can happen in the same day-then it becomes about mastering the art of living vs. managing compartments.

I’m a believer that everything is soaked in a bigger story. The more I apply that belief to my eyes I see things a new. All of the sudden play can be as simple as spitting on the sidewalk and jumping cracks in the pavement while on a conf call. My old compartment definitions were too rigid and impossible to achieve.

Now, I believe that integration of all areas of my life every day makes for a more joyful, connected and adventurous -sustainable life.

We shape our future

I believe that our future is untold and undetermined and we get to shape and captain the course. I believe God is waiting for us as co-authors to initiate-risk-try-experiment-believe and live into a future we want to be a part of. I can still slip back into “play it safe” thinking and live small.

I found it a little easier to live boldly when we started our Reboot two years ago. Now sometimes, things can feel easier to stay the current course. But I know what’s most true. “There is the genius in boldness”.

Ritual and habits

Protecting the asset (Essentialism book) has become a dominant mantra for me each day. I still struggle to prioritize my needs and myself first e.g. to go for a run before I check my email. I know what is good for me, but I can at times neglect what I need personally. I am prone to prioritize work, the needs of my family and shit I got to do ahead of protecting the asset. It backfires on me when I don’t protect the asset.

The rituals I adhere to when I’m living well are…

  • Get outside every day even for 10 minutes. Walk to get the mail. Walk the dogs by headlamp. Walking conf calls.
  • Exercise for at least 20 minutes may be jumping rope in the garage and prison wall pushups. But do something.
  • Pray and meditate for at least 15 min (Headspace app)
  • Remind myself that the day will be influenced by the story I tell myself is true. It is not positive thinking-it is actually creating a narrative that I live into and rewiring my brain.

Keep going,

Aaron

The Art of Being @ The Joy Farm

We sipped a chilled bottle of Joie Riesling underneath the apricot trees. The Joy Farm’s vibes were grabbing a blanket, a bottle of wine, order a wood-oven pizza and linger in their orchard. I giggle remembering the ease and joy we six playmates felt. It had been years since I remember laughing that hard.

Being still, being present, being engaged is an art-a learned skill that requires practice. Six friends sitting in an orchard, eating, laughing and enjoying a bottle of wine should be a regular part of my life. Vacation holidays draw out and surface the possibilities of shape our lives can have back home.

I’m going to call two friends and get them together to share a bottle of wine under the trees.

What did you do on vacation that you want more of in your regular life?

Visit The Joy Farm

Joie Farm (means “Joy” in French) is located in Naramata/Penticton Wine Region, British Columbia about four hours East of Vancouver, BC and an equal distance north of Spokane, WA. @Joiefarm

Friends practicing the art of being at Joie Farm Naramata BC

Know Yourself

I find it fascinating that none of us came out of the box with an operating manual. Everything in our world comes with an operations guide-a detail set of instructions for optimal care and performance. How interesting that the only way to develop an operations guide is to become a student of ourselves.

Learning how I operate best has provided me some incredibly helpful insights. I’ve learned that most days from 2 pm to 4 pm my physical energy is low. Knowing this helps me live more strategically. As a result, I don’t schedule creative work in the afternoons. Comparatively at 7 am, I feel like I can take on the world with gusto.

My software has a few bugs

Early in my career, my boss told me, “Aaron you have great hardware, but your software needs some work.” He was so right. Knowing yourself, becoming a student and investigating how your software works will reveal a lot of helpful insights.

I don’t like loud beeping noises like alarm clocks or trucks driving in reverse. When our special needs daughter was alive, she was hooked up to a lot of machines, each with its own beeping decibel and pulsing frequency. I used to freak out when the microwave timer would go off for three minutes unanswered.

I learned that my software has a bug. In my operating manual, it reads, “Aaron is prone to quick irritation due to a decade of beeping noises requiring immediate response”. Ahhhh…well, that makes sense. I now understand why my auto response of quick irritation is activated. I’m working on installing a few helpful software patches to change my auto response default program.

People like us want to experience more joy, connection, and intimacy. So we accept that our software may have a few bugs that can be improved or fixed. Our goal isn’t too over analyze things or stare at our navels all day. We simply believe that life gets better when we are deliberate about knowing and improving ourselves.

How well do you know yourself?
Take the time to study your operations guide.

Keep going-

Aaron

Dispatch: U2’s Bono Preaches at the Rose Bowl

I heard Bono preach a gospel message at the Rose Bowl. I thought I was coming to a concert. One song into the U2’s Joshua Tree Thirtieth Anniversary Tour, I realized that in fact this is not a concert but this a deeply spiritual experience about the goodness of humanity.

Joshua Tree tour big screen 45 ft x 200 ft wide projected goose bumps invoking invitations to action. Rose Bowl, CA

Bono and band were professional entertainers, but ultimately the music was the melody for their sermon to rest upon. U2 advocating and implicated every person to become apart of the global elimination of poverty, equal rights for women and political change in the US.

“I wanna run, I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside
I want to reach out and touch the flame
Where the streets have no name”.
Watch U2, Where the streets have not name

Iconic Joshua Tree outline

The infamous Irishmen boldly projected endless Joshua Tree desert scape on the largest video screen ever used in a concert tour-four stories tall by two hundred feet wide. Here is their full set list here.

“I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one
Bleed into one
But yes I’m still running”.
Watch U2, I still haven’t found what I’m looking for

The first chord launched the gospel experience with the war cry anthem, “Sunday Bloody Sunday.” Every disciple chanted the chorus in unison “Sunday, Bloody Sunday How long…How long must we sing this song?” Seeing U2 live gave me a deep appreciation for the entire band. The Edge was so powerful to watch as he ushered in shifts in mood and invocation.

“And so she woke up
Woke up from where she was lying still
Said I gotta do something
About where we’re going”.
Watch U2, Running to Stand Still 

My favorite U2 song of all time is “Bad” which preceded the Joshua Tree album appearing on The Unforgettable Fire. “Bad” was offered up as part of the encore and it was a holy experience for me.

The nostalgia of seeing U2 in person affirmed my thirty-year love for their preaching, advocacy, and music. U2’s tour returns to the US cities again in September and South America through late October.

Breathing Life Into Your Dreams

“These toys are REAL. They are alive!”
John Lasseter, Co-Founder and Visionary of Pixar Animation Studios

I believe that dreams impregnate reality. I love living inside the dreams that other’s have dreamed. Walking through Cars Land in California Adventure, I thought of John’s dream. I imagined what it must be like for him to stand aside from the Cozy Cone, Luigi’s Tire Shop, and Flo’s V8 Cafe. He and his team conceptualized this forgotten Route 66 town and its characters from pencil sketches and quirky personalities borrowed no doubt from their family reunions. Imagination infused with flesh.

I believe that John breathed his life into the life of Cars Land. Cars Land might look like an amusement park, but I believe it is story-soaked proof that dreams become reality.

What dreams are you dreaming?
What are the seemingly silly thing you day dreaming about?
What would happen if you put texture and color and expression to your dream?
What if you dared to believe your dreams are real and they are alive?

Banking turns in Radiator Springs inside John Lasseter’s dreams

Dispatch: Mountain Biking the Santa Cruz Redwoods to the Pacific Ocean

The flowy turns are silent. The thousand-year-old Redwoods peak at three hundred feet absorbing every sound below. The trails in Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park are like Jurassic Park meets the Ewoks from Return of the Jedi.

The route

Henry Cowell allows bikes only on Pipeline Road, Rincon Fire Road, Ridge Fire Road, and Powder Mill Fire Road. The best route is to loop Pipeline Road to Powder Mill Fire Road. Then take Rincon Fire Road to Railway Tracks until it dumps you out into a neighborhood. Meander towards the Santa Cruz Riverwalk path and take south towards the ocean.

Detailed trail information is available at Trailforks.

Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park to Santa Cruz Google Maps

The Pacific Ocean finish

Wash down your ride with a Lost Coast Brewery Great White beer and seafood at Splash on the Wharf.

Bill and I descending to the Pacific

How Much Did They Pay You To Give Up on Your Dreams

“$27K Grand a Year.”
“And when were you going to stop and come back and do what makes you happy?”
“I don’t know.”
“You have an opportunity. This is a rebirth. If not for you, do it for your children.”

This scene from the movie Up in the Air is forceful. George Clooney’s character is terminating a man in his mid–50’s who decades before accepted this job for $27,000 a year and subsequently gave up on his dream of becoming a chef. Fast-forward a few decades, add a mortgage payment, a kid with chronic illness and a bad case of “Life sucks”.

Understandably it happens. I get it.

When I was a kid, my adopted uncle had a coffee table sized book on sailing. He would tell me stories about how he was going to take his family to sail around the world. I could hear the inflection in his voice increase and brighten when he’d talk about commanding his future craft. His family was prime for it. My aunt was a 100-mile ultra athlete. My cousins were farm-hearty.

But they never went sailing.

Now, I understand why dreams of sailing the ocean blue and becoming a chef can easily get put on the shelf. Those bashful dreams get placed right next to the trophies from high school, plastic trucks, and empty photo albums. It happens to most of us.

I think Clooney is right “You have an opportunity. This is a rebirth. If not for you, do it for your children.”

What if it’s never too late to start dreaming again?

What if we right sized our lives to make room for our dreams?

How much did they first pay you to give up on your dreams?

Was it worth it?

Dispatch: Star Wars and the Power of Costume Exhibit

I remember watching the first Star Wars movie play on the single screen small town theatre in Bishop, CA. A few years later, we camped in the desert to witness the landing of the Space Shuttle Columbia.

Watching the Columbia return from a galaxy far, far away was proof to me that Star Wars was not mythology, but reality. The eight-year-old in me still wants to believe that Luke Skywalker is real.

Darth Maul fighting Obi Wan and Qui Gon

George Lucas created galaxies, planets, characters, and narrative so compelling that we forget they are fantasy-or we simply long for them to be true. We got lost in the gray haze of reality and fantasy again as we visited the Star Wars The Power of Costumes exhibit at the Denver Art Museum.

Yoda

George Lucas’s personal collection of original Star Wars costumes, character development sketches, artist renderings, meeting notes and back lot footage explain why Star Wars transcends reality. I found the experience incredibly powerful. There is power in experiencing how one man’s passion and commitment to excruciating levels of detail teleport audiences into the Star Wars experience. May the force be with you.

Han Solo and Chewbacca

“Take a unique journey into the Star Wars™ universe as characters are brought to life through a dramatic presentation of more than 70 original costumes. Star Wars™ and the Power of Costume will closely examine the captivating process of costume design for iconic outfits featured in all seven films of the Star Wars series—from Queen Amidala’s lavish gowns to Darth Vader’s imposing black armor.” Denver Art Museum

Darth Vader

Tour Details

Cincinnati Museum Center, Cincinnati, Ohio | May 25, 2017 – October 1, 2017
Museum of Fine Arts, St. Petersburg, St. Petersburg, Florida | November 11, 2017 – April 1, 2018

C3PO BB8 R2D2

What Sucks the Life Out of You?

Fists were banging on the table while expletives were being used as verbs. It was late and everyone could feel the stress, worry, and anxiety in the room. I left the scene and started walking the streets alone. It took me quite a long time to calm down. I called a friend and vented to him releasing all of the responses I kept corked at the fubar dinner meeting.

Everything changed for me that night. Deeper than the chaos, deeper than the unruly behavior, I uncovered a few pivotal questions,

“Aaron, what depletes you?
What erodes you from the inside out?
What sucks the Life out of you?”

Before this moment, I never took the time to intentionally define exactly what depletes my emotional energy. The only vocabulary I knew to express my internal disconnect was “Stressed, anxious and overwhelmed”. That night, I started writing them all down.

  • Fast pace of life
  • Yelling and screaming
  • Endless email inbox
  • Difficult conversations
  • Business travel that lasts more than three nights away
  • Working fourteen-hour days
  • Being over scheduled with meeting after meeting after meeting
  • Being in leadership
Emotional Calories-Caloric Depletion

As you read my list you might think they are overly simple, they are. The simplicity is the power. There is power in naming what sucks our energy away. There is power in knowing ourselves well enough to recognize when we are in a situation that we know [insert little cartoon bubble appearing above your head] “this is going to drain my emotional energy.”

Energy Management Strategy

By developing a personal energy-zapping punch list, I can now name the root causes of my stress, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed. I now have situational awareness and understand why I’m experiencing discomfort.

In turn, I now understand the importance of creating a strategy for emotional calorie replenishment. I can appropriately account for the depletion of emotional calories and begin seeding in nutrients to regain my emotional energy strength.

Life can get better.

We’re not robots we are human.

Our emotional energy powers everything good in our work, life, and play.

Start by paying attention to your emotional energy levels and name what or who sucks the life out of you.